Navigating technology with your kids

1Start with why

Technology isn't the enemy. Tablets, games and phones can help kids learn, create and stay connected to the people they love. But most of what's on a screen wasn't designed with your child's heart in mind. It was designed to keep them watching.

So our goal isn't to keep kids away from technology forever. It's to teach them to use it well, a little at a time, while they're still young enough to want our help. Think of it like learning to ride a bike: training wheels first, a hand on the seat for a while, and more freedom as they show they're ready.

2Is my child ready?

There's no magic age. Instead of asking “How old should they be?”, ask “What have I seen?” A child may be ready for a little more independence when they:

• Follow screen-time limits without a fight most of the time
• Tell you when something online confuses or bothers them
• Take care of their things and keep track of them
• Can explain why some games, videos or apps aren't okay for them
• Are honest even when it might get them in trouble

If you're not seeing those yet, that's okay. It just means you're not done with training wheels. And remember: what their friends have isn't a good measure of what your child is ready for.

3Set it up together

Before a new device leaves the box, sit down together and set it up. Talk through each setting as you go so your child understands the “why” and doesn't feel like the rules are a secret.

4Build healthy habits

• Screens live in shared spaces. The family room and kitchen are better than bedrooms and closed doors.
• Devices sleep outside the bedroom. Pick a family charging spot and have everyone plug in there at night, parents included.
• Protect screen-free times. Meals, car rides and the hour before bed are great places to start.
• Know what they're playing and watching. Play the game with them. Watch an episode together. Ask them to show you their favorite thing.
• Model it. Our kids notice when we can't put our phones down. Let them catch you choosing people over screens.

5Give them a plan for what they might see

Sooner or later, your child will run into something they shouldn't, often by accident. Teach them what to do before it happens, and practice it a few times so it sticks.

That last sentence matters more than anything else on this page. If kids think they'll lose their device or get in trouble for telling you, they'll keep it to themselves.

Our family tech agreement

Read this together, talk about anything that needs to change for your family, then sign it and put it somewhere you'll both see it.

I will…

• Use my device in the shared spaces of our home.
• Put my device on the family charger at bedtime.
• Ask before I download a new app or game or buy anything.
• Only talk to people online that I know in real life.
• Never share my full name, address, school, passwords or pictures without asking first.
• Close it, walk away, and tell a grown-up if I see something that makes me uncomfortable.
• Treat people online the way I'd treat them face to face.
• Stop when my time is up, even when it's hard.

My grown-up will…

• Help me learn to use technology well, and explain the “why” behind our rules.
• Listen without getting angry when I tell them about something I saw.
• Give me more freedom as I show I'm ready.
• Follow our family screen rules too.

Kid signature + date

Grown-up signature + date

Print the agreement

6Keep talking

The best tech plan is an ongoing conversation. Every few weeks, ask a simple question while you're driving or doing something together:

• “What's your favorite thing to watch or play right now? Can you show me?”
• “Has anything online made you feel weird, sad or confused lately?”
• “Is there anything you wish you could do on your tablet that you can't?”
• “Do you think our screen rules are fair? What would you change?”

You don't have to get it perfect. You just need to stay curious, stay calm, and keep the door open.