I’ve discovered something about myself over the years. I don’t particularly enjoy being told what to do. And I don’t just mean when someone tells me to do something I don’t want to do. Sometimes the frustrating part is simply that somebody told me to do it. Maybe you know what I’m talking about.
You were perfectly willing to accomplish something, and then someone came along and instructed you to do it. And suddenly, for reasons you can’t entirely explain, you’re significantly less interested. I think most of us have some version of that desire for control.
We want to make our own decisions. We want to determine how we spend our time, what we pursue, and what our lives become. And in many ways, that’s understandable. But here’s something I’ve been thinking about. What happens when our desire for personal freedom begins leading us toward things that actually make us less free? Because I think that’s a tension we experience more often than we’d like to admit.
The Freedom That Costs Us Something
Think about the decisions we make every day. You have the freedom to spend your money however you want. But if you consistently spend more than you earn, that freedom can eventually create financial pressure that limits your future choices. You have the freedom to eat whatever you want.
But if you consistently make decisions that undermine your health, those decisions can eventually affect your ability to enjoy the life you want. You have the freedom to say whatever you want. But if you continually speak without considering the consequences, you may eventually damage relationships you deeply value. And the same principle applies to our spiritual lives. We have the freedom to make decisions that move us closer to Jesus or further away from Him. But not every decision that expresses our independence actually leads toward the kind of life we want. Sometimes we exercise our freedom in ways that undermine our future.
And I think that’s one of the most important things we need to understand about the Christian view of freedom.
Freedom Isn’t Simply Doing Whatever You Want
When we talk about freedom, we often define it as the absence of restrictions. Nobody tells me what to do. Nobody limits my choices. I get to determine what’s best for my life. But Christianity presents a different picture. Jesus invites us to surrender our lives to Him. And I recognize that can sound strange. If freedom means being completely in control, surrender sounds like the opposite of freedom. But what if freedom isn’t simply the ability to make any decision we want? What if genuine freedom is the ability to become the people we were created to be?
I think that’s a much more meaningful definition. Because there are plenty of things we can choose that eventually begin controlling us. We can develop habits that become difficult to break. We can become dependent on approval, success, possessions, or experiences. We can allow bitterness, pride, or unhealthy desires to shape our decisions. And over time, the very things we chose because we wanted freedom can begin limiting our lives.
What Jesus Has Already Done
In Colossians 2, Paul describes what Jesus accomplished through His death and resurrection. He explains that our old way of life, ruled by sin, has been dealt with through Christ. And he uses the language of baptism to describe our identification with Jesus in His death and resurrection. It’s an extraordinary picture. Paul is telling believers that something fundamental has changed because of Jesus. They’re no longer defined by their old relationship to sin. They’ve been given a new life.
And I think that’s important because we sometimes approach spiritual growth as though our only option is to become increasingly disciplined versions of ourselves. We assume that if we try hard enough, develop enough willpower, or make enough commitments, we’ll eventually overcome the things that keep us stuck. But Paul begins somewhere else. He begins with what Jesus has already accomplished. Through Christ, we’ve been given access to a freedom we could never create entirely on our own. And now we’re invited to live in response to that freedom.
The Freedom to Choose Differently
Here’s something I’ve wrestled with. If Jesus has made freedom possible, why do Christians still struggle with sin? Why do we continue returning to habits we know are destructive? Why doesn’t God simply remove every unhealthy desire the moment we begin following Him? I think part of the answer involves the way God relates to us. He’s not simply interested in controlling our behavior. He invites us into a relationship where we learn to trust Him and willingly surrender our lives. And that means we still make decisions. We can continue holding onto things that hurt us.
We can keep returning to patterns that undermine our relationships. We can allow our desire for control to determine the direction of our lives. Or we can begin choosing to live differently. Not because we’re trying to earn God’s love. But because Jesus has already made a different kind of life possible. The power to obey has been given because Jesus has made a way for us. And I think that changes the way we approach transformation.
Stop Protecting What Is Hurting You
One of the things I’ve noticed is how skilled we can become at managing unhealthy patterns. We tell ourselves that something isn’t really a problem because nobody else knows about it. We convince ourselves that we have control because the consequences haven’t become particularly serious.
We make excuses for habits, relationships, and decisions that we would immediately recognize as dangerous if someone we loved were making them. And sometimes we continue protecting those things because we’re afraid of what surrendering them might require. But I wonder what would happen if we began asking a different question. Is this actually helping me become the person God is calling me to be? Not whether we can get away with it. Not whether we have the right to do it. Not whether other people are making worse decisions. Is it helping us become more like Jesus?
Because some of the things we’re defending in the name of freedom may be the very things preventing us from experiencing it. And I think God invites us to release those things because He loves us. Not because He’s waiting for an opportunity to punish us. But because He knows what those decisions are doing to our lives.
Putting This Into Practice
If there’s an area of your life where you’ve been holding onto something you know isn’t healthy, I want to encourage you to approach it with honesty and intentionality.
1Identify one false freedom.
Think about a habit, attitude, or pattern you’ve been defending because you believe you have the right to it. Maybe it’s an unhealthy relationship with your phone, an unresolved grudge, a hidden struggle, or something you’ve convinced yourself you can manage. Ask whether that choice is actually producing the life you want.
2Take one concrete step toward freedom.
Choose an action that directly addresses the pattern you’ve identified. Delete an app, establish a boundary, seek counseling, confess something to a trusted person, or remove access to something that’s repeatedly caused harm. Don’t rely exclusively on a promise to try harder. Make a practical change that supports the kind of life you want to build.
3Practice surrender instead of control.
Read Colossians 2:11–15 this week. Spend time reflecting on what Jesus has accomplished and what it means to belong to Him. Each morning, pray a simple prayer: Jesus, my life belongs to You. Help me choose what leads toward the freedom You’ve made possible. Then identify one decision that day where you can intentionally follow His direction.
I think one of the most important discoveries we can make is that freedom and control aren’t necessarily the same thing. Sometimes the things we’re most determined to control are the things keeping us stuck. And sometimes the freedom we’re searching for begins when we finally open our hands and surrender our lives to Jesus. Not because He wants to take something good away from us. But because He wants to lead us toward something better.
